In a candid video posted to Instagram on April 1, Mediacorp actor Andie Chen revealed that he struggled with depression between 2020 to 2021.
The 39-year-old shared that the overwhelming pressure of then trying to establish his career in Taiwan, while facing an unstable income, took a toll on his mental health.
Andie is married to former Mediacorp actress Kate Pang and is based in Taiwan with their two children, Aden, 10, and Avery, eight.
Kate had to travel for work often, leaving Andie to manage parenting responsibilities on his own.
With Kate recently away again, Andie says it triggered memories of that dark period of his life, prompting him to make the emotional video.
“This is embarrassing but I will be honest. Those periods nearly broke me,” said Andie.
“With no support, no familiar ground, and no help, I felt abandoned and alone,” he added.
Andie also admitted that depression slowly crept in even though he kept a brave front in front of his kids, “there were times they would catch me crying in bed”.
In an interview with Lianhe Zaobao, the actor shared how unfamiliar with he was with daily life in Taiwan at the start and that he didn’t know how to pay for utilities or gas then and that he felt “so dumb”.
“I thought I had jobs lined up, but then the pandemic hit, and many projects got cancelled. I felt like I wasn’t achieving anything, and had to take care of the kids alone,” he said in the interview.
“I became emotionally drained and would cry for no reason. I felt helpless,” he added.
Andie also spoke to the Chinese daily about struggling with his pride and how he became very concerned about how he thought Kate viewed him.
“My male pride stopped me from opening up about my emotions,” he said.
Eventually, he confided in her and she responded with understanding and support, even bringing one of their kids when she travelled to Singapore to ease his burden.
Andie also shared that financial pressure weighed heavily on him. Living off his savings and watching his bank account dwindle made him question his decision to leave comfortable Singapore.
According to Andie, Singapore provided a stable job, pleasant work environment, and he was even able to afford two domestic helpers.
Andie also revealed that at one point, he resorted to borrowing money from his parents just to pay for his children’s reading enrichment classes as his income could no longer cover the fees.
“I felt so useless – being in my 30s or 40s and still needing to ask my parents for help. But it was in that lowest moment that I truly saw who really cared for me,” he said.
Thankfully, those days are behind him and is now shaping up to be a busy year.
Andie is set to appear in season three of the Taiwanese drama, Post Plastic Surgery, alongside Kate.
Andie is also slated to star in Mediacorp drama Fixing Fate opposite Xu Bin, Hong Ling, and Fang Rong.