Her school promoted patriarchal values, she said.
“There’s a sense that you need to grow up to become a virtuous wife or mother. You are taught to be very small and submissive … don’t talk, just smile, always defer to someone else and don’t take up space,” she said.
“There was a lot of conditioning. And as an adult, I am very angry about it.”
Amid these struggles, Tan said she also encountered a ghost in her bedroom.
“I was on my computer chatting at 3am, with the radio on. Suddenly, the radio became very loud, very soft and then very loud. No one was touching it. My room became very cold, even though I didn’t turn on the air-conditioner. You just feel like somebody is there.
“I turned off the lights, jumped into bed and covered myself with a blanket. I felt someone sitting on me. To be honest, I thought I was going to die. It was super terrifying,” she said of the ghost encounter, which she also wrote into the film.
Many people Tan told thought she was crazy.
“My mother told me there’s no such thing. Psychologically, it really did something to me because my mother didn’t even believe me, and I was supposed to just forget this extremely terrifying episode of my life,” she said.
Tan’s friends, however, believed her, and this made her feel less alone. “They were like, take this Catholic card, it’s going to protect you. Or chant this from Buddha,” she said.