Yet beneath the frustration, there is love, complicated but undeniable. “Who better to look after her than me? She only has us,” Nonis says, fighting back tears. “Clearly, I love her. … But it’s very hard to admit.”
As household sizes shrink and only children become more common in Singapore, more adults may find themselves in a similar position to hers, carrying the full weight of caregiving, perhaps shaped by relationships that are far from simple.
She is one of four individuals whom the On The Red Dot series, Left To Care, follows as they care for ailing loved ones on their own — even as they confront their own fears, health struggles and personal sacrifices.
What keeps them going?
CARE, WITHOUT PAUSE
Nonis’ father has been in and out of hospital since 2022 — after a fall, a heart attack and recurring gastritis.
Her mother’s schizophrenia, though stabilised since her discharge from the Institute of Mental Health in 1998, requires monitoring and carries the risk of relapse.
“There’s no such thing as taking a break from caregiving. I’m literally on duty 24/7,” Nonis says. Even at work, she checks her home’s closed-circuit television, watching for signs that something might be wrong.
“As a caregiver, you never know when a crisis will strike.”
WATCH PART 1: Singapore’s sole caregivers under 24/7 pressure (22:51)