A netizen recently asked a question on Reddit that instantly got Singaporeans talking. “Married men: why do you visit KTVs/Siam Diu?” they asked.
“Just curious about the underbelly of Singapore because we hear stories about how attached men, be it in marriage or relationships, visit KTVs or siam dius. What can you get from such places that your partner doesn’t give you?” they elaborated.
The OP added that their sister’s ex-partner of 10 years went to “shady massage or social escort” places, causing their break-up.
Siam diu refers to Thai discos in Singapore, often referred to as a “seedier” version of a nightclub. Patrons are entertained by performances, and in some cases, hostesses known as ‘siam bus’. The hostesses entertain guests and provide them with company throughout the night, and are often given garlands, that can cost up to thousands of dollars, as tips from guests.
So why do married men in Singapore visit these bars?
“It’s just the thrill of having a sweet young thing being flirty and promises of something more that he wants,” said one netizen, while another simply penned: “Cheap thrill and to escape reality.”
Some believe that married men who visit siam dius, more often than not, are in unfulfilling relationships, leading them to find attention or pleasure elsewhere.
One netizen shared: “I have a friend who is very loving to his wife, but his wife has severe depression and they have not been intimate for six years. He said he has tried but she has come up with 5,000 excuses not to do it. She causes social, financial, and psychological burdens on him, is on so much medication, but he still loves her as they are childhood sweethearts and he goes to these KTV/Siam Diu or shady massage places to get it all out.”
Then there was another, well, more straightforward comment that read: “Despite being happily married, some men don’t receive a happy ending…”
While many brought up the fact that some marriages lack intimacy, leading to the men finding attention elsewhere, they opined that such behaviours are acceptable if both parties are aware and in agreement. One even suggested that on the flip side, it’s possible for married women to look for male escorts as well.
Others draw the line at such arrangements, asserting that there’s no point in keeping the marriage going if one has to seek companionship elsewhere.
Others were befuddled by the siam diu etiquette of flower garlands, asking: “One thing that I find mind boggling is why people spend money just to hang flowers? Makes no sense at all. I mean, [if] they go to prostitute I can understand they feel horny. Hang flower with money for what?”
They were quickly told that while hiring a prostitute no doubt “satisfies one’s needs”, purchasing flower garlands for escorts is an act that “strokes their ego”.
That said, not everyone visits KTVs and siam diu for pleasure, say some Redditors. One individual shares that he often goes to such establishments to entertain business clients, or is invited by work connections to join in. He does not “reject such places” but draws a line and “will not do anything” that hurts his wife.
However, he also shared: “Some people I know go all the way. I don’t ask them why but I notice that they all have problems at home. Either the wife is a pain in the a** to handle, or there is no intimacy.”
“The worst I have encountered was him catching his wife sleeping with another man because she felt he wasn’t good enough. I remember consoling him at his void deck in the middle of the night. He was almost suicidal. Within weeks, he got over that and was partying heavily both locally and overseas. The irony was his wife divorced him for infidelity,” he continued.
Married folks, what’s your take if you found out your partner visited a KTV or siam diu?
Photos: Reddit, Pavel Danilyuk/ Pexels