SINGAPORE – During one of our evening walks at Pasir Ris Park, I asked my youngest daughter: “Tell me, what is the meaning of life?”
She paused and said: “Just live lah, daddy. Enjoy it.”
I did not expect that reply. I thought the topic would provoke more questions from her. I was all prepared to play the mentor-dad role to my 15-year-old.
After all, it is something that philosophers have written books and poems about. Yet, people are still debating it today, each generation grappling with the same question from different perspectives and experiences.
Spurred to find out more, I sought Google’s view – and the number 42 appeared. This was the answer suggested by Douglas Adam, the English author of the 1979 sci-fi comedy novel The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy.
Apparently, 42 is the alphanumerical sum that signifies “To Be”. In the Buddhist context, it emphasises being fully present in the moment.
Google decoded the answer this way: T is the 20th letter of the alphabet; O is the 15th letter; B is the 2nd letter; and E is the 5th letter. You get 42 by adding them up (20+15+2+5).
Was my daughter trying to tell me something similar in her own way?
I take it that the meaning of life is to be fully present wherever I am and to give my best whenever it is possible. It reminds me to be useful, to be intentional and to be alive.
At that moment, I caught myself thinking: Has the mentor-dad become the mentee-student?
I recently came across a 2024 book titled The Meaning Of Life: Letters From Extraordinary People And Their Answer To Life’s Biggest Question by Bristol-born James Bailey.
In 2015, Bailey was unemployed, heartbroken and living alone in his late granddad’s caravan. He was searching for the meaning of life when he was down in the dumps.
An idea then came to him to handwrite a letter to various famous scientists, writers, survivors, adventurers, artists, politicians and philosophers. “I’d be most appreciative if you could tell me what you think the meaning of life is, and how you find meaning, purpose and fulfilment in your own life?”
Canadian author, essayist and screenwriter Monica Heisey wrote back to Bailey that the meaning of life is found in being contented through cultivating opportunities to experience simple pleasures such as “friends’ laughter, reading at the bar, unrealistically flattering denim, good gossip”.
English philanthropist Dave Fishwick offered a piece of practical advice, reminding people not to have too much envy and resentment as they navigate through life. English ornithologist Mya-Rose Craig believed that life is about loving and being loved.
American climate activist Catherine Coleman Flowers wrote: “To me, the meaning of life is to ensure a liveable planet when generations present and future can live in peace.”
A few of them wrote about savouring the simple pleasures of life, which echoed my daughter’s words.
English novelist Anthony Horowitz wrote: “It’s the small pleasures that keep me going, and you have to be alive to enjoy them.”
British palliative care consultant Kathryn Mannix wrote: “The wisest people I have met have often been those who love most simply.”
An English prison inmate named Charles Salvador was also asked and his answer is found at the end of the book.
“Life is to me a gift. You have to respect it. Appreciate it. Hold on to it for as long as possible. People who let go don’t deserve it. 4.5 decades of my life have been in a hole but I’ve still enjoyed it. I made it work for me. Coz I found myself.”
Meaning can be found in everyday moments. I have to appreciate and respect that. If I asked myself the same question, what would my answer be?
Here is what I would write to my daughter.
“My dear child, I get a sense that we don’t enjoy our life enough. In our busyness, we struggle to be fully present. Moments come and go unsavoured.
We make good memories. We also make bad ones. But there are other moments that come unexpectedly, and they define or change us, for good or bad.
As a lawyer, handling many accident claims, daddy has seen how one moment can change a life.
But I have also seen how love and sacrifice can turn things around. Blessings hide in the shadow of what is unpleasant, waiting to be discovered. And hope persists.
What then is the meaning of life or the meaning of my life?
Yes, I agree with you – enjoy life. It is about being as fully present as possible with the people you love. It is the same way I desire to be fully present with you.
The people we know come and go when their time is up. So, never take them, or their feelings, for granted.
Cheer with them, weep with them and hold on to them. There is a season for everything.
Make lasting memories so that we look back with a fond smile. Add those moments up, and we will find that life is worth living.”
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Michael Han is a father of three and managing partner of a legal firm.